Contemplating the Struggle

He said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob." Then the man said, "You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have struggled with God and with humans, and have prevailed. Then Jacob asked him, "Please tell me your name." But he said, "Why is it that you ask my name?" And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the place Peniel (the face of God) saying, "For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved." - Genesis 32:27-30

In the story referenced above, Jacob wrestles with God and, as a result, God changes his name to the Hebrew word for wrestling and struggling (Israel). This isn't just significant for Jacob, but for an entire people group descended from Jacob who are chosen to reveal God to the world. This people group, also called Israel, will embody the struggle to know the divine. What they learn about God isn't given to them without the struggle. The same can be said for anyone who seeks to know and experience the divine.

Before his wrestling match with this mysterious divine human, Jacob was already struggling. He was promised to receive a divine blessing and inheritance, but in his pride Jacob attempted to secure his inheritance through deception and dishonestly. After he is humbled by the wounds sustained during his struggle with the divine, he becomes better prepared to face the struggles that lie ahead of him.

Faith is a struggle. For many, the struggle is like Jacob before his face to face encounter with the divine. Many, like Jacob, attempt to grasp onto the divine on their own terms - certain that their beliefs and their way are the only way. Their struggle, even if they don't see it as a struggle, is their own pride. They deceive themselves and others with their piety and dogmatic beliefs, convinced that faith requires nothing more than confidence and self-assurance. "Scripture is clear", they will say. "Jesus is the only way", they profess often without ever following the way of Jesus on the path of dying to self and giving ones life in love and service to others (and not just to those who share the same beliefs, nationality, or lifestyle). In their pride and certainty, they struggle to let go.

For those who have encountered the divine though their struggles, who have been humbled enough to see the divine mystery that transcends our ability to comprehend, they now face a struggle of a new kind. Once they have seen God face to face, they can no longer see the world in the same way. The struggle now is to live in love and service toward those who, in their prideful certainty, see you as a threat to their self-assurance. It is the same pride that rejected Jesus and turned him over to be executed. It is the same pride that would rather go to war than to live among those unlike ourselves. The struggle for many is to live and love in peace despite the hostility that surrounds us.

In most cases, we will bounce between these two struggles. The comfort and security of having firm and unwavering beliefs will often make us retreat into a homogenous community who will never challenge our beliefs. We will surround ourselves with people just like us who reaffirm what we already believe to be true. What looks like confidence is often just masking a deep fear of our own doubts and questions. But if we allow ourselves to fall into the mystery we might find a new freedom to embrace all that this life has to offer. We may find that experiences and cultures different from our own can actually enrich our own perspective. Instead of pride, we may find a grateful humility that can marvel and smile at the diversity of divine expression around us.

But what happens when this diversity of divine expression we have embraced also includes those who reject us? How long can we suffer the pride and arrogance of those who see us as the enemy? Jesus once taught his followers to "love their enemy". He taught them to find a third way besides violent retaliation or doing nothing. Perhaps it starts with realizing the lonely fear inside of those who project pride and certainty. Perhaps we can remember when we were also so afraid that we clung to whatever truths were handed to us so that we would not have to face the silent darkness that life's questions are often met with. How would love invite someone out of that lonely darkness?

As long as we live we will struggle. May our struggle be towards discovering the truth of the divine life within all of humanity rather than struggling against those who threaten our pride. May we together embrace the divine mystery that seeks to bless humanity with life and flourishing if we will only surrender our self-assurance and lay down our ego. Out of that struggle we may see God face to face, even in the eyes of those with whom we struggle.