The Shadow World: A False Self

"Put off your old self, which belongs to your former way of life and is corrupt through illusory desires, and let your way of thinking be renewed in the spirit, and put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in the truth of what is right and divine. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another." Ephesians 4:22-25

The ego is a clever illusion. As an infant we have no concept of an independent self. We survive only through the gift of our mother's self-giving love. But as we grow and our needs turn into desires, we learn to say "mine!" and we begin to stake our personal claim on the world. And so our self-identity grows as we decide what we like and don't like, how we want to dress, what sort of social groups we want to pursue, and what types of hobbies set us apart from everyone else. There is a underlying desire to be unique - an individual, autonomous, self-sufficient person. We create our own persona, occasionally deciding to change that persona altogether. We construct the identity of our ego and often have no identity beyond it.

The ego isn't bad in and of itself, but it is a construct - the summation of our desires, fears, and insecurities. Sometimes that results in an ego that gets it desires met through kindness and generosity, while other egos resort to violence and greed. In either case, this identity is never able to see beyond it's own self-preserving interests. Even the most generous acts are ultimately to fulfill ones own wants and desires. The payoff must equal or exceed that which is offered. Love, the truly selfless and self-giving kind, requires that we transcend the identity of the ego.

The perennial truth that nearly all wisdom traditions and religions share is that there is a more true identity that transcends this false egoic self. There is a true self in which the boundaries between you and I are blurred, where your pain is my pain, and your joy is my joy. This is the intersection from which true compassion and love can exist. Only when we die to the old self can we fully embrace this new identity. In truth, the old self was never who you were to begin with.

"I shed my ego as a snake discards its old skin." - Abu al-Hassan al-Kharaqani (Sufi mystic)

According to the Christian tradition, our true identity is "hidden with Christ in God." Jesus prays that we would be united together as one in God, just as Christ is one with God. Most other religious traditions also teach of a mystical union or non-duality with the divine. The problem presented with this ultimate non-duality is the experience of separation that we all encounter. Our ego projects a false self that results in selfish behavior and corruption because it believes it is ultimately disconnected and separate from everything and everyone else.

Perhaps the greatest irony is when religion becomes an exercise in inflated egos. When religion gets watered down to self-righteous moralism, conversions and confessions are nothing more than an exchange of one costume for another, swapping one false identity for another. Our ego is happy to reinvent itself as a more pious and more pristine version of its former self. A dangerous and unhealthy pride and elitism results from these egos who not only see themselves as separate from humanity, but as better than the rest of humanity. Jesus asks these also to take up their cross and follow him in the path of dying to this false self and find themselves among the universal family of God. This is our salvation and our liberation.

"The chief thing that separates us from God is the thought that we are separated from God." - Thomas Keating